Captain Taniwha and the Sticky Space Snot – Complete story
With a squelching, slimy splat, green blobs of interplanetary space snot smothered the cockpit of Captain Taniwha's rocket ship. He was blinded. And even worse: on a high speed collision course with Earth.
Oh, if only I hadn't disturbed the galactic nose, thought Captain Taniwha as his rocket ship hurtled towards Earth.
The rocket windscreen wipers only made it worse. Snot smeared everywhere. And there wasn't any water left in the wipers either.
“Stink! I knew I should have filled the water up last time I was at the space gas station. Meanwhile, Earth is getting dangerously close.”
Squinting through the snot smears, Captain Taniwha looks for any sign of where he might crash.
“Blue! That means water – Captain Taniwha likes water. Time to swim!”
The ship shakes as it breaks the sound barrier with a deafening roar, and plunges into the Pacific Ocean. Bubbles everywhere, and the windscreen is wiped clean of snot.
“Success! I can see, I can ... I can see a huge mako shark outside my window.”
(pause)
The mako shark, hungry for a feed, circles the sinking ship. Will the Captain sink with his ship or risk his life with the hungry shark?
“You can do this, Captain Taniwha. It's only a shark – you're a taniwha! Surely you can out swim him.”
Captain Taniwha excelled at self-motivation talk.
“Ahhhhh!”
“Steady on bro, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're whānau! I'm real hungry, wanna come back to my place? We're having a barbecue.”
Captain Taniwha realises that it's a hungry job patrolling space all on your own, and he likes a good barbecue.
“Chur bro, I'd love to join you. Do I have to swim far?”
“Nah, hop on!”
And Captain Taniwha jumps on the shark’s back, holds onto the fin, and they swim off.
He's Captain Taniwha – The Mako Shark Rider. Mean as.